


A Word We've Only Heard

by lululawrence



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Music Shop Owner Harry, POV Multiple, Period-Typical Homophobia, Secret Relationship, Traveling Salesman Louis, don't worry there is a, i have no idea what more to put here, let's see, only for a short scene promise, this is making this sound even more depressing than i wanted it to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 19:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11111331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lululawrence/pseuds/lululawrence
Summary: So, where are you headed?” Liam asked, not wanting to sit in awkward silence for their journey.  It was twelve hours to Chicago, and that was far too long to sit and not chat with his fellow passenger in front of him.“Chicago,” he answered, his blue eyes meeting Liam’s own.  “It’s home.  Been on the road for quite some time now, it’s the first time I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed in almost a month.”Liam whistled.  “You must be pretty excited.”The man gave a soft smile, which made him look younger than Liam initially expected; he might even still be in his twenties.  He wondered what kind of a life this man had led to look so tired until he smiled.Or, it's 1951, Harry is the owner of a music shop, and Louis is a traveling salesman making his way back home.





	A Word We've Only Heard

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So. I promise there's a happy ending! Sigh. Anyway, I envisioned this fic while listening to the AM station here in town that plays music from the 20s-40s and now here we are. Oops. I really loved doing something completely different in style, tone, and feel from what I usually do though, so I hope you enjoy it as well!
> 
> This is a historical fic and I tried my very best to stay true to the feeling of the time period as well as get all of my facts correct. There were a few things I had to make leaps on, so I hope they don't detract from the fic for you. If you have any concerns about the tags, please feel free to come and talk to me on [tumblr](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com).
> 
> Massive thanks, as always, to my fic cheerleader [Tin](http://silentlarryshipper.tumblr.com) and also to my lovely beta [Molly](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) as well as the writing party peeps who helped keep me excited and going!
> 
> This fic was written as part of an ongoing challenge. We each select random numbers and are given a specific emotion from the book 1000 Feelings For Which There Are No Names. To read the other fics written in this challenge, [click here](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/ShortFic_Challenge_For_Which_There_Is_No_Name/works), or you can find the masterpost on tumblr [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/159679804243/1000-feelings-for-which-there-are-no-names-prompt).
> 
> My prompt was: 821. The happiness of realizing that you actually have no worries at the moment.
> 
> The title comes from Nat King Cole's "Too Young", my playlist to help me stay in the right mindset for the fic can be listened to [here](), I don't own any of the boys, just their fictional families I created here (though I did base Louis' siblings off of his actual siblings). I hope you like it!

Nashville, 1951

Liam climbed onto the train and found the car he’d been assigned to.  He lifted the one bag he had been allowed at training and stowed it away before sitting down.  He was finally going home.

He settled himself in for the long ride.  He was so anxious to get home; Martha was due any day now and he definitely wanted to be there when the time came.  Liam had heard stories of men in other parts of the world being in the delivery room with their wives during the birth, and while Martha had laughed at him when he suggested it, he still wanted to try.  If other men could be there to love and support their wives when they went through all of that pain, then he would too.  

Liam and Martha had never intended on having children so soon, they’d only been married for just over a year, but sometimes God had a bigger plan in mind, right?  Liam had to tell himself that He did, because otherwise his fears got the best of him.  After all, it was just after learning Martha was expecting that Liam had been drafted.  Talk about timing.  

Liam jumped when a man bumped into the door of their car with his suitcase.

“Pardon me, it’s a new bag and I’m not used to the size of it yet.  Didn’t mean to scare you.”  Liam observed him, dressed well in a suit but not overly fancy.  The gray pinstripe was a popular fashion as was his simple, understated necktie, both of which showed he did not want for money, but in an understated way.  As the man sat down across from him, though, Liam noticed there were holes due to wear and tear on his brogues and the hem of his trousers were a bit frayed.  One would never notice without looking closely.  Liam had been trained to look at everything closely over the past several months during his training.

“So, where are you headed?” Liam asked, not wanting to sit in awkward silence for their journey.  It was twelve hours to Chicago, and that was far too long to sit and not chat with his fellow passenger in front of him.

“Chicago,” he answered, his blue eyes meeting Liam’s own.  “It’s home.  Been on the road for quite some time now, it’s the first time I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed in almost a month.”

Liam whistled.  “You must be pretty excited.”

The man gave a soft smile, which made him look younger than Liam initially expected; he might even still be in his twenties.  He wondered what kind of a life this man had led to look so tired until he smiled.

“Yeah.”  The man leaned back and crossed his legs in a relaxed manner.  “But what about you?  Are you an Army man?  You’ve probably been away from home longer than I have, so I shouldn’t be complaining.”

“I am.”  Liam nodded and looked down at his uniform.  He was excited to get home and wear clothes other than the regulation fatigues day in and day out, but he also felt safe wearing them.  Like he knew his purpose was greater than himself.  Though, with Martha and soon enough the baby, he  _ knew _ his purpose was greater than himself.  “First time home in four months.”

The man’s eyebrows raised and he shook his head.  “A true hero.  Thank you for your sacrifice.”

Liam blushed a bit.  He hadn’t done anything yet, and he didn’t know if he would.  There was always the chance of getting called up and sent to Korea, but it seemed that for now, at least, Liam was safe.  He was grateful.  He was already having to move Martha and their newborn baby to his new assignment at Fort Irwin within a month of the baby being born.  He couldn’t imagine leaving her to fend for herself with the baby so far from their families as well.

“Thank you.  My name’s Liam Payne, by the way.”  Liam held his hand out and was pleased when he received a firm handshake back.  

“Louis Tomlinson.  Very nice to meet you.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1943

Louis stood in the hallway, just out of sight of the door.  His sisters were all still at school and for that he was glad.  Everyone knew it was bad news when two Army officers showed up at your door and it had been months since you’d gotten a letter from your soldier.

Louis strained his ears, but he couldn’t hear what was specifically said.  All he could hear was the low rumble of the men’s voices and the sound of his mom crying.  He’d known the chances of his dad returning from Europe unscathed weren’t the best, but when he’d stopped answering their letters, Louis had a leaden feeling in his gut that wouldn’t leave.  

He was only 19, but he knew what would happen now.  His mom and sisters needed someone to care for them and make sure they had everything they needed.  These officers had confirmed his fears and now he would have to find a job that could support all of them, or God only knows what would happen to them.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1951

Niall stood in front of the the shop and read the modest sign: Styles Instruments and Sheet Music.  This was the place.

He opened the door and heard the bell jingle above him; the shop smelled of musty paper and wood.  Niall allowed himself to close his eyes and breathe it in.  Hands in his pockets, he tilted his head back and just basked in the various scents and sounds encompassed in the small shop.  Yes.  He had made the right choice.

“Good afternoon.  Can I help you find anything?”

Niall smiled to himself without moving from his position, despite the deep voice obviously wanting to assist with his shopping needs.

“Give me a minute, if you don’t mind.  Music shops are my favorite, and not many have such rich depth to them as yours does.”  After another moment or two of probably making the shop employee nervous, he finally opened his eyes and looked in front of him.  Standing there was man with his shirt sleeves rolled up, deep blue suspenders a bit lopsided, and his matching trousers looking a little wrinkled.  “Ah, you must be the owner of the shop.”

The smile didn’t waver, but a look of confusion did cross the man’s face.  “Yes, I’m Harry Styles.  Have we met?”

Niall chuckled before coming up and patting him on the shoulder.  “Very nice to meet you.  I’m Niall Horan.  We haven’t met, but I know what a man looks like when he’s been running his numbers and I’m afraid I have disturbed you from this very dry and tedious task.”

The man ran his ink stained hand through his short, mahogany hair.  More proof that Niall’s supposition was correct.  “Yes, that’s right.  I truly don’t mind the interruption.  Is there something specific you’ve come looking for today?”

“Ah!  Yes.”  Niall began walking towards the small selection of pianos the shop kept in house.  That was the main reason Niall had come here.  Not many shops in this part of town kept pianos.  Most had to order them in, but Niall preferred to touch and play an instrument before purchasing it.  Between that and others having recommended the Styles Music Shop, Niall knew it was where he needed to make the purchase.  “I am in search of a piano.”

Harry’s eyes brightened at that.  “Are you?  I’m glad to hear it.  The piano is my favorite instrument, though I also love the clarinet.  Do you play?”

“Mmm?”  Niall had already started to drift into childhood memories just touching the first upright piano that was standing in front of him.  “Oh yes.  Many good memories growing up revolve around the piano…”

Niall shook his head and pulled himself back to the present.  “Do you mind if I take some time to play around on them a bit?  Get a good feel of them.  I’ll call for you when I’m ready to talk more details.”

“Course.”  Harry smiled politely, before heading back to the open doored office to run more numbers.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1943

“Get the fuck out of my house!  I won’t have a Nancy living under my roof!”  

Harry stood in the doorway to the living room, nose bleeding and breathing heavily as he tried to reduce the shaking of his limbs.  He hadn’t started crying yet, he’d be damned if he let himself cry in front of the piece of shit standing in front of him now.  

“Did you hear me?  I said get out!” his father bellowed, pointing to the front door.

Harry gave one last look at his mom, just to see if she even cared what his drunk father was doing.  She was just staring blankly at the television, ignoring his very presence.

Rolling his eyes, Harry shook his head and grabbed the suitcase, the one he’d packed weeks ago in preparation for when he knew this day would come, from the hall closet.  His dad had beaten him for years, telling him he could tell by looking at him that he was different and needed to straighten up, be normal like the other boys.  Harry didn’t even know what his dad was referring to when it had started.  He was young enough he didn’t understand what he meant, thought it was just something his dad had imagined from drinking too much.

When he was fifteen and he finally realized he had been looking at boys the way he should have been looking at girls, it all came together for him.  It was like his dad had recognized it in him before he’d even recognized it in himself.  

It had gotten worse ever since he’d graduated, though.  All summer he did everything he could to work as many shifts as possible in order to keep himself out of the house, but whenever he returned he was always welcomed home with verbal, and sometimes physical, assault.  Harry knew he needed to leave, and he’d been planning to, he just didn’t think it would be this soon.  Good riddance.

Wiping the blood from his nose and trying to keep it from staining the cuff of his shirt, Harry grabbed his jacket in an attempt to protect himself from the rain coming down outside, and walked out of the only home he’d ever known.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago bound train, 1951

“Congratulations.”  Louis’ eyes sparkled as soon as Liam mentioned the baby.  His entire being lit up.  “I love babies, there’s something so pure about them.”

Liam nodded.  “I’ll admit, I’ve not had much opportunity to be around babies, but I’m looking forward to the chance to make up for that.  Do you have any children of your own?”

At the question, Louis continued to smile, but a sadness entered his eyes that wasn’t there before.  Liam couldn’t understand what could cause him to shift so quickly, but he hoped he hadn’t hit a sore spot unintentionally.

“Uh, no.  I’m afraid, at least as of now, a family of my own is not in the cards for me.”  Liam sat in silence to see if Louis would continue, but the man only fiddled with the sandwich wrapper in his hands.

Not wanting to pry, Liam just said, “Well, I hope that it can be in the cards for you soon enough.”

Blue eyes, slightly red around the edges from either exhaustion or emotion, met Liam’s.  

“Thanks,” he rasped out quietly.  Clearing his throat, Louis turned the topic back to Liam.  “So, you’ve not had the chance to be around babies much?  Do you have any siblings?”

“Oh, yes,” Liam agrees after swallowing his last bite of his own sandwich.  “I have two sisters, but we are all fairly close in age and neither have their own children yet either.  First grandchild for my parents.”

Louis smiled brightly again.  “Are you close with your sisters?”

“Not as close as we used to be, but we see each other as often as we can manage,” Liam said, resituating himself in his seat.  At this point, Louis had taken off his suit jacket and loosened his tie to give him some added comfort.  “What about you?”

Louis smiled widely.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I’ve got siblings.  Five sisters and a brother.  The youngest two are only four, but they’re all growing up so quickly.”  Liam tried not to be surprised.  There were several families he knew with large broods of children, but now that fatherhood was imminent, he couldn’t imagine so many of his own.  Louis stared out the window at the passing scenery, the next sentence coming out softer than the rest.  “My mother remarried almost five years ago now.  I don’t get to see them quite so often anymore, but they seem happy and that’s the most important.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Indianapolis, 1946

“What do you mean, you’re engaged?” Louis spoke loudly into the payphone.  The connection was poor, but he would take what he could get.  He was only able to call home every week or so to check in and make sure everything was okay.  They were so busy, and Louis had been working as hard as he possibly could to ensure he was top of sales again this month, so more frequent calls just weren’t feasible.  Or affordable.  The bonus he’d gotten each of the last three months thanks to outselling everyone else for the company was the only reason their house hadn’t been taken over by the bank.

“I mean that I’ve been seeing a man from church for a few months now,” Marie said through the line.  “He’s a good man.  Works hard and can take care of us.  And the girls love him as much as he loves us, Louis.  He asked me to marry him a few days ago, and I said yes.”

Louis stood and stared at the phone until the prompt to insert more coins came on.  He dug in his pocket for the change and after inserting it tuned back in to hear what she was saying now.

“...good thing for you too, darling.  You’re only twenty-two, you’re so young.  You shouldn’t have to work so hard for us.  With Frank in the picture now, here to take care of us, you can consider finishing school like you’d always wanted.  Or at the very least get a job that doesn’t require so much traveling.  I worry about you being so far away all the time.”

Louis understood her worries, and sometimes he shared her fears.  Concerns for his safety were often well founded, especially considering his slight frame and young age, but he’d learned to fend for himself.  And while he was relieved that the weight of paying for food, housing, clothes, and other necessities for his mother and four sisters wouldn’t be solely on his shoulders anymore, he did worry about what his life would become.  

Three years of being a traveling salesman was long enough for him to not be able to picture doing anything else.  The money he made from it was also good enough for him to be worried about being able to find anything that could compare, particularly with the education he lacked.  When his father had been drafted, Louis had left high school in order to work and help his family.  Supporting them had been his focus for so long, having that taken away left him with concerns over what he would do without it.

“Anyway,” his mother paused and sighed.  “We’re getting married in a month.  I hope you can make it, darling.”

Louis voiced the same wish, but he knew he’d do almost anything to ensure he didn’t have to be there when his family began to move on without him.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1951

“My father used to play Bing Crosby songs nonstop,” Niall said as soon as he sensed Harry emerging from his office again.  Niall was tinkering with a melody straight from a memory of his father when he was young.  “We always knew when he’d hit the bottle too hard because he switched from Bing over to jazz.”

Flashes of images in sepia tones seemed to play on the back of Niall’s eyelids, but not wanting to dwell on the sad and scary times, he physically shook his head and it was like a film reel switched.  Suddenly, he was watching the highlights play instead.  

“My happiest memories from my childhood were spent with my mom and brother singing along with my dad at the piano.”  Niall switched the song over to  [ _ It’s Been a Long, Long Time _ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5zRn0fxgtZcvAwXRayRu9x) and plucked out the chords he remembered before looking up at Harry again.

“My best memories growing up also revolved around music,” Harry admitted.  His hands were in his pockets and his hip was popped a bit indicating comfort and relaxation in his pose, but Niall could read discomfort as well.

“Was that something you shared with your pop as well?”

Harry took a deep breath and shook his head.  He looked down and seemed very interested in the scuffs on his shoes.  “No.  He uh, he never approved of my love of such frivolous things as music.”

That statement caused Niall to stop playing altogether.  The sudden silence caused Harry to raise his head and the green of his eyes struck Niall once more.  They were deep and expressive and now that Niall was looking for it, filled with pain.

Niall nodded his head and stood up to walk to the last piano he hadn’t tried yet.  “Well.  Someone who can call music frivolous obviously doesn’t understand it, do they?”

Harry offered a soft smile and Niall started in on one of his own favorite songs rather than one from a memory. He’d played no more than the introduction before he heard Harry’s breath hitch.

Niall slowed his playing a bit before asking, “Familiar with  [ this one ](https://open.spotify.com/track/44ZAlAAn0bAEzUJgZky04H) ?”

Harry nodded slowly and looked as if he were somewhere else.  Niall understood, and left him to it, knowing Harry would return when he was ready.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1947

Harry closed up at Higgins’ Music Shop for the night and slung the keys in his bag.  Paul kept insisting Harry shouldn’t stay as late as he does, but Harry prefers to balance the bank sheets at the end of every day rather than weekly.  It wasn’t like he had anyone to run home to anyway.

That was a source of contention these days.  His only friend, Johnny, was so sure that he just hadn’t met the right girl, but Harry was scared to death of Johnny finding out that he would never find the right girl.  Johnny kept innocently inviting friends of his to join them for their nights out together, but Harry had quickly caught on and began finding excuses to avoid it.  These days, his and Johnny’s friendship was more over the phone than anything.  

Harry missed him, but couldn’t say he regretted the change.  It was just easier this way.

Harry shifted the bag on his shoulder carrying the sheet music he needed to reorganize, and quickly scanned the street for cars.  Finding his way clear, he crossed and picked up his brisk pace home.  It was early spring and the wind was biting still, despite signs of it warming up during the daytime.  Once the sun went down, it might as well have still been winter.

Harry was focused on warming his hands when he heard a groan beside the bakery he loved.  He paused to see if he could hear it again, and sure enough there was another groan proving it was a man and not an animal.

“Hello?” he called into the darkness.  The streetlights didn’t permeate the alley there, but he thought he could see it reflecting off of something on the ground.  “Are you okay?”

There were only groans in response, so Harry slowly and warily made his way into the alley.  He kept moving towards the reflection on the ground, which he assumed was the man, but quickly learned he was wrong when he stumbled over a leg.

“Oh my word, I’m so sorry!” Harry apologized.  The man didn’t respond at all, and it was then that Harry smelled the liquor.  “Oh,” Harry said on a sigh.  

Harry knew that the way some people drowned their sorrows when needed was through alcohol, but he would never let himself touch it.  Not after seeing how it turned his father into even more of a monster the entire time he was growing up.

Harry squatted down and patted the man on his cheek.  He really needed to get home or he could end up very ill from staying out in the cold all night.  

“Hey.  Hey, are you awake?  Hey, what’s your name?”  The man opened his eyes enough that through the dark, Harry could see them focus on him before they closed again.  Sighing once more, Harry crossed his bag across his chest so it wouldn’t slip off his shoulder anymore and stood up.  He really hoped this man wasn’t too heavy, or he’d be sore in the morning for the piano tuning.

“Up you go,” he groaned as he heaved the man up by the underarms.  He draped the man’s arm around his shoulders and held onto it with one hand to keep it in place, then wrapped his own arm around the man’s waist.  The guy seemed to come-to enough to know he needed to move his legs, even if he couldn’t support his own weight.  

“There we are,” Harry said again, finding that talking to the still mostly unconscious man helped him feel better.  “We are going to take you to my place so you don’t freeze to death, okay?”

The man grunted, and Harry took that as him agreeing.  

“It’s just a couple blocks down, so not too far, and I’m on the ground floor so we don’t have to worry about stairs.”

The man continued dragging his feet along, and Harry kept talking.

“So my name is Harry Styles.  Nice to meet you.  I’m from Chicago, but I’m on my own now.  Been living at this place for a couple years.  Work at Higgins’ Music Shop.  Paul took me in when I really  needed someone and I’ve been working for him ever since.  The apartment is small, but the couch is comfortable, so it should give you no trouble.”

Harry took a deep breath.  This guy was slowly making it more and more difficult and Harry was working up a sweat dragging his weight down the street.  At least he could see the door to his building now.  It meant he was close.

“So anyway, this is me right here.  It’s just for the night, alright?  We’ll figure out who to call to let your family know you’re safe in the morning.  I’ve got a party line and Mrs. Graham is always using it this time of night anyway, so the morning is when it’s more likely to be free as it is.”

Harry unlocked the main door to their building and heaved the man to his door.  Once again he had to maneuver both of them through the door, which was a bit difficult, but he managed.  When he finally flipped the deadbolt behind them, he felt much better.

“And here it is.  Home sweet home.”  Harry looked around his tiny studio apartment, and felt nothing but pride.  At the age of twenty-two he felt he was doing pretty well for himself, considering.  He flipped on a light and dragged the man to the couch.  “Here you go.”

As soon as he got the man sitting down, his body began to lean to the side.

“Hey hey hey, not yet.  I need to make sure we have you propped up and out of that tie at least, so we can be sure you don’t hurt yourself or choke on vomit overnight, okay?”

Harry sat down and tried to continue breathing through his mouth because wow.  The man really did smell quite poor thanks to what had to have been ridiculous amounts of alcohol.  

“Just going to start with your tie, okay?”  

Harry focused on his hands and removing the thick, wool tie that was cinched tightly still.  Once he got that undone and removed, he unbuttoned a few buttons so the man could breathe easier, before slowly laying him on his side on the couch.

“There you go,” Harry said softly.  He got up to grab a few pillows to ensure the man’s position was kept during the night, and then placed a trash can next to the couch as well, in case he got sick.  Harry stood and cracked his back, observing the set up.  With everything in place, he allowed himself to finally look at the man a bit closer.

He had hair that was mostly matted due to sweat, currently, against a young face.  The man had to be around his age.  Harry hated when he learned about others his age having gone through things that were rough enough that they turned to drinking.  Harry knew the hell that some people had to survive - he had the scars, physically and otherwise, to prove it - but his scars were a direct result of the influence of alcohol and he never liked seeing others desperate enough to turn to that themselves.

Not wanting to allow himself to think about that, Harry removed his own tie, and got himself ready so he too could go to bed.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago bound train, 1951

Liam woke up from where he’d been dozing in his seat and found his cabin-mate was asleep as well.  He allowed himself to search out the window to see if he could find anything familiar in the landscape, but he couldn’t.  It was all just more farmland, which didn’t give any indication as to how much further they had to go.

He shifted in his seat a bit to avoid his leg going dead, and was distracted by how young Louis looked while he slept.  Liam knew from their discussion that they were close in age, but it was obvious that Louis had the weight of a lot of worries on his shoulders. That responsibility aged him so he only looked younger when he smiled, but even that was nothing compared to now.  

Liam noticed there was what looked to be a letter in his hand, about to be dropped to the floor as he was asleep.  Looking to the ground, Liam saw an envelope and a photograph that had already dropped.  Liam bent down and grabbed them, finding the envelope addressed to Louis from an H.S.  The photograph was a beautiful shot of a younger Louis, his arm around the shoulders of a slightly taller man who was smiling down at him.  When Liam flipped to the back, it simply had a date on it.  August, 1948.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1949

Louis walked into his mother’s house.  It was much larger than the home he’d grown up in and he would never feel comfortable there.  He did try to pretend, however.

“Louis!  Fantastic.  I was worried you weren’t going to show up!”

Louis rolled his eyes as inconspicuously as he could.

“When have you ever known me to miss a Sunday dinner when I’m in town?”  Louis walked up to his mother and gave her a kiss on her cheek.  “You know how much I love your mashed potatoes.”

Marie swatted at his bum with the hand towel she was holding, mock affronted.  “I  _ know _ you come for more than just my food, young man!”

Louis smiled and was about to tease her more when the younger twins came running into the kitchen.

“Louuuuiiiiis!” the yelled before grabbing onto his legs.  They were in matching overalls that Marie had made them, and they were adorable.  

Doris looked up at him before saying, “Have you met Ruth?”

Louis stood up from how he had been bent over, tickling the kids and turned to shoot his mother a glare.  She was fussing over the pots on the stove as if she hadn’t heard anything.

“And who, pray tell, is Ruth?”

Marie threw the hand towel onto the counter and turned, placing her hand on her hip.  She really meant business.

“She’s the daughter of Frank’s coworker.  She is a very nice girl and I thought you two would get along just swell if you’d only give her the chance.”

Louis was shaking his head and gently trying to remove his siblings from where they were acting like anchors on his legs at the moment.

“I told you, I am not going out on any more of these fixed dates!  I don’t have the time or the energy to devote to a…” Louis had to swallow around the lie he’d been about to tell.  He never wanted to lie to his mother, even if he knew she’d never accept him.  He did have the time and energy for a relationship, but he’d never admit that to her.  His idea of an ideal partner and hers differed greatly.  Taking a breath, Louis tried to find a better wording.  “I don’t have any desire to meet more of these girls you think are perfect for me.  I’m tired of disappointing you.”

“So don’t disappoint me!  Just stay and get to know Ruth.  She really is lovely!”

“I can’t do that.  I’m sorry.”

With that, Louis walked from the kitchen and, dropping a kiss on his sisters’ heads as he passed them in the hall where they’d been eavesdropping, walked right back out the door he’d come in moments before, his heart heavier than it had been.  He didn’t know when he’d be able to trust her to respect his wishes, and because of that, he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to return to the place that had never felt like home to begin with.

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1951

“We can have this delivered for you next week, just as you requested.  It should be there and tuned up ready to go for your party next weekend.”

Niall smiled widely and clapped his hands.  

“Excellent.  That piano really is a looker.  I can’t wait to be able to show her off.”  Niall rubbed his hand softly across the keys one last time.  “You should join us!  I know Tilly would love to meet you.  You could bring your special lady as well.”

The smile that had been on Harry’s face as they worked out the details of the transaction faltered a little when Niall offered the invitation.  It seemed he had unintentionally caused him some pain.

“I, uhm.  I appreciate the thought, but I’m afraid I’m not able to make it.  Perhaps we can get together another time, though.  I would love to meet your family.”

Niall studied Harry’s face a bit longer.  Perhaps part of what was obviously not a happy history with Harry’s father had to do with his girl, or lack of one.

To ease the tension that had filled the air, Niall gently said,  “And I yours, whether it be blood family or the one you’ve formed for yourself.”

Harry’s eyes snapped up to meet Niall’s, and there it was.  The light that had shone so brightly was now brightened even further by an emotion that Niall couldn’t quite read.

“My roommate is the closest I have to family these days.  We’re a couple of no-good, written-off bachelors, I’m afraid.  Are you sure you want to make such an offer?”

Niall stepped back, looked around the music shop, and closed his eyes to smell it once more.  The warring scents of wood, rosin, reeds, and sheet music once more filled him and spoke of calm to Niall.  Calm, content, but also a bit of loneliness.

Opening his eyes and finding the same look of amusement that had graced his new friend’s face when he’d done the same thing upon walking into the shop earlier, Niall just nodded.

“Yeah.  I’m sure.  For all you know, we might be your next addition to your family.”

For the first time since Niall had met him, Harry broke out in a smile wide enough it created dimples in his cheeks and crinkles by his eyes.

“Absolutely sure.”

 

*~~***~~*

 

Chicago, 1951

Louis checked his watch and found that it was just past seven.  A bit later than he’d been hoping to make it in, but not horrible.  If he could catch a cab right off, then he’d hopefully still make it home to a warm dinner.

He turned to the man who had been so kind and become a new friend that day.  Louis offered his hand.  “It was a pleasure to meet you, Private Payne.  I wish you and your wife the very best.”

The man took his hand in his strong grip.  His kind eyes shone with warmth as he said, “Thank you.  You were better company than I could have hoped for.  I hope we can one day meet again.  Good luck with everything, Mr. Tomlinson.”

Louis allowed Liam to disembark ahead of him, then went to hail a cab.  Luck was definitely on Louis’ side, because one was waiting right at the curb.  Once he’d given his address, the driver left him to his thoughts, and Louis spent the drive looking out the window.

A month was the longest he’d been gone from Chicago since he’d hit rock bottom.  Louis tried not to think about that time if he could help it, but he couldn’t help but reflect tonight.  He’d been in a self-destructive tailspin fuelled by alcohol after his mother had remarried and Louis found himself essentially no longer needed by his family, but at a loss as to how to find a new purpose.  One night Louis finally took himself too far, and if he hadn’t been found, he had no idea what would have happened to him.

That night had changed everything.  Harry had taken care of him, and Louis had woken up the next morning as sick as a dog.  Harry offered him the use of his apartment until he felt better, and Louis had never really left after that.

Since then, Harry had helped him remember who he was outside of just taking care of his mom and sisters.  He also learned that maybe the reason he’d never found himself inclined to settle down wasn’t because he was simply too busy, but because maybe he wasn’t inclined to do so with a  _ woman. _

Louis had been brought to that realization one night while working in Kansas City, when he found himself thinking about Harry in ways that definitely weren’t platonic.  Louis knew there were people who felt that way towards members of the same sex, he’d just never considered he was one of them.  Waking up and finding he’d been dreaming of kissing Harry and desiring more had definitely changed that for him.

The entire week he’d worried.  Did Harry feel the same?  Would Louis be able to hide it now that he’d figured it out?  He’d worked himself up into a tizzy only to get home on that sweltering day in August - to celebrate Harry reopening Higgins’ Music Shop under it’s new name and ownership, Styles’ Instruments and Sheet Music - to find Harry pacing the floor of their small apartment.  Louis had been worried that something had happened with the music shop or something had happened to their families, but Harry had stilled and calmed immediately upon seeing Louis and greeting him with a hug.

Harry had been pacing because he was so worried that his feelings weren’t mutual.  He’d spent the last year or two since they’d met slowly falling for Louis and he knew he had to express that, even if it meant he could lose Louis and so much more for doing so.  They’d both come to the conclusion that they needed to talk about their feelings at the same time, and Louis could still feel the relief, the pure joy, he felt in that moment when he was held in Harry’s arms and they knew it was so much more than just friendship.

It had been almost three years now, and Harry had found the very first photo that had been taken of them together after declaring their love for one another.  Harry’s arm was around Louis, and the look of utter adoration and sheer happiness could almost be felt by Louis.  And now, after almost a month, Louis was finally able to see him again.

They tried to do what they could to ensure they saw each other every two weeks.  That was their rule.  Louis had to finish out his contract as soon as possible though, because he and Harry had finally decided it was time for him to leave the traveling salesman life behind.  It was time for them to settle down and do what they could to be a family, even if it was just the two of them.  In order to do that, it required Louis to stay away for a month, but now?  Now he was free.

Louis leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, reveling in the distinct happiness he felt knowing he had nothing to do in that very moment than just listen to the radio playing a Rosemary Clooney song Louis didn’t know.  A smile climbed on his face and the car drew to a stop.

“We’ve arrived, sir.”

Louis settled the payment and climbed out, never so happy to be home.  He walked up to the front door of their brand new ranch style home, pride simmering in his veins that they had done this.  It was Harry’s name on the mortgage, he was the one with a steady income anyway, but it was theirs.  Together.

Louis opened the door and heard Harry humming along to Nat King Cole and he knew.  They might never be able to be married or have children of their own like they so desired, but they had each other and that was better than anything else Louis could ever dream of.

Louis quietly removed his shoes, set his suitcase down, and walked on his tip toes down the hall before turning into the kitchen.  There he saw Harry standing, still in his work clothes, at the stove humming as he turned off the burners.  It seemed Louis made it home just in time for dinner.

Louis slipped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist before leaning down to nuzzle into Harry’s neck.  He smelled of sandalwood aftershave and ink, and that was the best thing Louis had encountered since he left.

Louis could feel Harry melt back into him, his hands covering Louis’, and they began to sway together as the song ended.

As Louis waited for the next track to start, Harry turned and wrapped his own arms around Louis’ neck before leaning in for a soft kiss.

“I am so glad you’re finally home,” Harry whispered.

Louis leaned his forehead against Harry’s before he said, “Me too.”

A song Louis had declared as his favorite only a month ago began to play and Harry pulled back so he could place his hand on Louis’ waist and put Louis’ right hand into his left.  Louis happily got into the traditional ballroom stance and allowed Harry to lead them in a slow foxtrot.

“I’ve decided this is our song,” Harry said.

Louis smiled and leaned his head onto Harry’s shoulder, taking in the lyrics as Nat crooned them through their old speakers.

“I love you,” Louis said, punctuated with a kiss to Harry’s neck.

“Not as much as I love you.”

_ And yet we're not too young to know _ __  
_ This love will last though years may go _ __  
_ And then some day they may recall _ _  
_ __ We were not too young at all

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it. I would defo appreciate kudos and a nice comment if you did! I would also love you for ever and ever if you shared my fic post you can find [here](http://lululawrence.tumblr.com/post/161507952778/a-word-weve-only-heard-by-lululawrence-so-where).
> 
> Interested in helping support charities with fanfic? If you are, I could write a fic for you! Check out the info [here on Tumblr](https://1dfanworksforcharity.tumblr.com/post/174494969280/1d-fanworks-for-charity-auctions-for-lululawrence).


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